Spilling the tea about therapy with your besties? Sharing your “aha moments” with your fam? Therapy can be a total game-changer, but figuring out what to dish (and what to keep on the DL) with your loved ones can be a mindbender. 

Here’s the lowdown on navigating therapy talk with your crew:

Should You Spill the Beans?

Therapy’s a goldmine for self-discovery, but that doesn’t mean you have to live-tweet every session. 

Here’s a quick breakdown of the pros and cons of therapy oversharing:

  • Spilling the Tea: Sharing your therapy journey can be a powerful way to bond with your loved ones. It shows them you trust them and deepens your connection. Plus, their perspective on situations you’re working through in therapy can be a total eye-opener. They might just offer a fresh take on that pesky childhood trauma or a hilarious anecdote about your (totally relatable) relationship struggles.
  • Keeping it Hush Hush: Therapy is your safe space to explore your deepest, darkest emotions. You might not be ready to broadcast everything to the world (or your aunt Mildred), and that’s A-okay! Maybe you’re working through some heavy stuff and need to process it privately before looping in your loved ones.

Before You Broadcast:

Thinking about spilling the therapy beans? Here’s a quick checklist:

  • Is This My Jam? Therapy is a personal adventure. Only share what feels comfy and safe for you. Don’t feel pressured to unload your entire therapy journal on someone who wouldn’t know a Freudian slip from a Freudian friend (it’s a joke… kind of).
  • Who’s the Audience? Is your BFF a champion of open communication, or more of a “need-to-know” basis kinda friend? Maybe your fam is all about emotional vulnerability, or perhaps they prefer a more lighthearted approach. Tailor your therapy talk to your audience for maximum connection and minimum awkward silences.
  • TMI or FYI? Sharing broad themes or insights from therapy can be helpful. Avoid going into X-rated details that might make everyone blush (including you!). There’s a difference between sharing a breakthrough and reliving your most embarrassing childhood memory with your parents (trust us).

Spill the Therapy Tea the Right Way:

So, you’ve decided to share some therapy wisdom with your loved ones. Here are some tips for keeping the conversation chill:

  • Start Small: Don’t overwhelm them with your entire therapy backstory. Begin with general topics or positive takeaways. Maybe you finally learned a healthy communication technique you can use with your partner, or you discovered a hidden talent for interpretive dance (hey, no judgment!).
  • Focus on the Growth: Frame your discussion around how therapy is helping you become a more awesome you. Let your loved ones know how therapy is helping you manage stress, build better relationships, or simply understand yourself a little bit better.
  • Boundaries are Your BFF: Let your loved ones know what’s on the discussion menu and what’s off-limits. It’s okay to say, “Hey, I’m not quite ready to talk about that specific part of therapy, but I can tell you about this other thing that’s been really helpful.”


  • You control the mic! You decide what gets shared and what stays private. Your therapy journey is yours, and you get to call the shots on how much you share with others.
  • Change your mind mid-conversation? No problem! It’s your therapy journey, and you get to call the shots. If things get too personal or uncomfortable, you can always politely change the subject or table the discussion for another time.
  • Your therapist is your partner in crime. They can help you navigate conversations with loved ones about your therapy journey. Don’t hesitate to ask your therapist for advice on how to approach these conversations in a way that feels comfortable and productive for you.

Alternatives to Therapy Talk:

Not feeling the super-sharing vibe? Here are some other ways to keep your loved ones in the loop:

  • Be a Resource Machine: If your loved one wants to understand therapy better, suggest some cool websites, articles, or books. You can even offer to go to a therapy-related event together, like a workshop or panel discussion.
  • Actions Speak Louder Than Words: The best way to show your therapy wins? Let your positive changes speak for themselves! Maybe you’re expressing yourself more openly, managing your anger more effectively, or simply radiating a newfound confidence. Your loved ones will pick up on these positive shifts, even if you don’t explicitly talk about therapy.

Therapy is a powerful tool, and how you choose to discuss it with your loved ones is totally up to you. By prioritizing your comfort level and setting boundaries, you can turn these conversations into opportunities to strengthen your relationships and support your overall well-being.

Think of it like this: therapy is your own personal gym, but for your mental health. You wouldn’t walk into the gym and announce your entire workout routine to everyone there (unless you’re that person who hogs the squat rack and needs attention, but that’s a different story). 

You focus on your own exercises, celebrate your wins, and maybe share some tips with a workout buddy here and there. Therapy conversations can follow the same approach.

Ultimately, open communication is key in any healthy relationship. But remember, you get to define what “open” means for you. Sharing your therapy journey can be a beautiful way to connect with loved ones, but it should always be on your terms. 

So, spill the tea, sip the tea, or politely decline to offer any tea at all – the choice is yours!


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